Essential Manners for Men

Put the toilet seat down...or else

Guys, in the event you do not know how to behave, Peter Post of the Emily Post family created this guide just for you!

We asked Peter Post for the top five mistakes that men make. Here’s what he had to say:

Men can screw up in a lot of places in their lives and, frankly, they can probably get away with it. But here are five essentials which raise the hackles on the backs of the peoples’ necks. Guard against these issues and your life will take a turn for the better.

1. Table manners. For whatever reason people judge people by their table manners. Eat like a slob, people will think of you as a slob. 

And, if you want one table manner above all others to be careful about: don’t chew food with your mouth open. It’s disgusting.

The fact is eating is really a social activity, a time when we join a special someone, our family, friends, co-workers, prospects or clients in a setting where we can talk and have a good time. So focus on the people you are with, think about making their experience with you the very best possible. And then act accordingly. You can bet they’ll want to be with you again.

2. The toilet seat. Raise it to do your business and then put it back down.
 
Here’s why. Look at that rim the next time you go. Would you want to sit on it? Neither does she.
So you think, “Hey, why doesn’t she put it down and share the load.” Because if it’s the middle of the night or she forgets to look, she’s the one that’s sitting on it, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to have to face her afterwards. Neither do you.

It’s simply a matter of being considerate. Anyway, why let something like this potentially turn her off to you. It doesn’t make sense. Put it down.

3. Speaking of being inconsiderate, avoid actions that put people around you down.

Like failing to introduce your significant other to people you are talking to at a party. Instead, let the others know you’re proud to be with her. Or like hogging the remote and watching only what you want to watch on TV.

Do those little things that make her smile when she thinks of you. Like putting dishes in the dishwasher instead of leaving them on the table or in the sink. Like cleaning out the sink after you shave. Like opening the car door for her or holding her coat for her or standing when she approaches the table in a restaurant.

4. Looking vs. staring. You know what I’m talking about.

That head snapping stare doesn’t impress anyone you are with. It’s a matter of focus. If an attractive woman happens by while I’m with my wife, to be sure I notice her. But I don’t let my noticing interfere with the focus of my attention which remains on my wife. The minute my focus shifts to the person I’m looking at, then I’m staring, and I’m going to have a problem.

5. What your mother always tried to teach you; say “please” and “thank you.”

It sounds trite, but it’s some of the best advice you’ll ever get. Think of it this way:
When you say “please,” you turn a demand into a request. When you say “thank you,” you turn expecting someone to do something into appreciating what someone is doing for you. People like to be asked to do something and people really like being appreciated.

Where does this work for you? Everywhere. It’s not just at home. It’s with your friends as well. And it’s with your co-workers, prospects, clients, and suppliers. It’s with your children. You can’t expect them to do the things you ask of them if you don’t model the behaviors yourself.

Saying “please” and “thank you” costs you literally nothing, yet it can make the people you are with think very highly of you and want to do things for you and want be with you.

That’s it. Five little things you can work on to improve your relationships at home with friends and special people, and at work. Bottom line: that’s what etiquette is really about. Knowing what to do and say to build great relationships. I think we all want to be liked, we like to be liked. Etiquette will help us to leave an impression of, “What a great guy he is. I really like being with him.”

Emily Post's Attire Guide

Don't know what to wear? Emily Post can help. Here are her suggestions (the words in italics are mine, the rest are from the site):

White Tie Event
Men:

• Black tailcoat, matching trousers with a single stripe of satin or braid in the US; two stripes in Europe or the UK
• white piqué wing-collared shirt with stiff front
• white vest
• white-colored (e.g., mother of pearl) studs and cufflinks
• white bow tie
• white or gray gloves



Aurora is ready for a white tie event

• black patent shoes and black dress socks

 Women:

• Formal (floor length) evening gown
  

 Black Tie Event
 Men:

• Black tuxedo jacket and matching trousers
  formal (piqué or pleated front) white shirt
• black-colored (e.g., onyx) studs and cufflinks
• black bow tie (silk, shiny satin or twill)
• black cummerbund to match tie, or a vest
• dressy suspenders to ensure a good fit (optional)
• black patent shoes and black dress socks
• no gloves.
• In summer or on a cruise: white dinner jacket, black tuxedo trousers plus other black tie wardrobe.

 Women (excuse the redundant words in the descriptions):

• Formal (floor length) evening gown
• dressy cocktail dress
• Your dressiest little black dress

Creative Black Tie (whatever this means)
Men: 

• Tuxedo combined with trendy or whimsical items, such as a black shirt or a matching colored or patterned bow tie and cummerbund

Women:

• Formal (floor length) evening gown
• dressy cocktail dress
• your dressiest little black dress
• fun or unique accessories (like a rainbow wig?)

Black Tie Optional
Men: 

• Either a tuxedo (see 'Black Tie' above) or
• Dark suit, white shirt, and conservative tie
• dressy leather shoes and dark dress socks

 Women:

• Formal (floor length) evening gown
• dressy cocktail dress
• a little black dress
• dressy separates

Semiformal Events
Men: 

• Dark, business suit
• matching vest (optional)
• dress shirt
• conservative tie
• dressy leather shoes and dark dress socks

Women:

• Short afternoon or cocktail dress
• a little black dress
• long dressy skirt and top
• dressy separates

 Festive Attire (usually for the holidays)

Men:

• Seasonal sport coat or blazer in color of choice, and slacks
• open-collar shirt
• dress shirt and optional "festive" or holiday-themed tie (like the tie with LED Christmas trees)

Women:

• Cocktail dress or
• long dressy skirt and top
• dressy pants outfit or separates
• a little black dress
• feature holiday colors and accessories

Business Formal 
Men:

• Dark business suit
• matching vest (optional)
• dress shirt
• conservative tie
• dressy leather shoes and dark dress socks

Women:

• Suit
• business-style dress (What? No more dressy cocktail dresses?)
• dress with a jacket
• stockings (optional in summer)
• heels, low or high

Business Casual
Men: 

• Seasonal sport coat or blazer with slacks or khakis
• dress shirt with optional tie, or casual button-down shirt
• open-collar or polo shirt
• loafers or loafer-style shoes and socks

Women:

• Skirt, khakis or pants
• open-collar shirt, knit shirt, or sweater (no spaghetti straps or decolleté)
• casual-style dress

Dressy Casual 
Men:

• Seasonal sport coat or blazer and slacks
• dress shirt, casual button-down shirt
• optional tie
• open-collar or polo shirt

Women: 

• Dress
• skirt and dressy top
• dressy pants outfit
• nice jeans and dressy top

Casual


Men:

• Khakis or good jeans (clean, no holes)
• cargo or Bermuda shorts—depending on occation and climate
• plain t-shirt (no slogans), polo shirt, or turtleneck
• casual button-down shirt
• sweater
• loafers, sneakers (with or without socks), or sandals

Women: 

• Sundress
• long or short skirt
• khakis or nice jeans
• shorts (depending on occasion and climate)
• plain t-shirt (no slogans), polo shirt, or turtleneck
• casual button-down blouse