Don't YOU Know How to Speak Klingon?

(Picture caption translation: "The empire is watching.")

Believe it or not, Klingon is a real language. Yes, it was developed for Hollywood purposes, but it is more than a bunch of gibberish all thrown together that people who are not actors have learned to speak. The great thing is that people who have learned to speak Klingon also like to sometimes dress like Klingons, the characters from the show "Star Trek". That would kind of like a couple of people dressing up in traditional Japanese clothing when they would meet and practice the language.

The Klingon language is the fastest-growing artificial language today. With no irregular verbs, words that are spelled phonetically (which means they are spelled how they sound) and are similar to other existing words, and only 16 rules of grammar, learning Klingon is a popular hobby amongst those who have nothing better to do. A Klingon to English dictionary was made in 1985, but kind of as a joke at first. No one knew the publication would be so popular until a discovery was made that there are a lot of nerds with money to spare. About 250,000 copies of this dictionary have been sold under the Paramount Pictures copyright.

As with many things, the Klingon "language" was taken too far and to a whole new level. It has been reported that a man, Dr. Speers, spoke only Klingon to his son, Alec. It got to the point that government officials had to intervene because the kid at age 2 only knew how to speak Klingon and nothing else and would be stuck at school if he did not have a interpretor. However, it is said that Alec speaks English today and barely remembers his Klingon days.

Multnomah County in Oregon also has a Klingon interpreter on staff for their mental health facilities. Fox News in 2003 reported that county officials had to take the language as seriously as they would for someone who spoke Spanish, Russian, Dari, Tongan, or any other official language of the world. Who knew Oregon was so multi-cultural?

It has also been reported that more 11th grade boys in Toronto, Canada know how to speak Klingon better than they do French...and French is an official language along with English in Toronto. I am not sure that I can really believe that more 11th grade boys can speak Klingon better than French...my guess is that the kids saw "Klingon" on the language survey and thought it would be funny to check it off. But who knows? Maybe they are crazy about Klingons up there.

How did Klingon become the global standard it is today? Good marketing and The Klingon Language Institute in Philadelphia. The KLI is a non-profit organization that "exists to facilitate the Klingon language and culture." But the last time I checked, the Klingon culture is not real...it was made up by Paramount Pictures. Remember? The official site of the KLI shows one how to write phrases, how the language sounds, allows one to send e-cards, buy merchandise, etc.

Regardless of the cool-ness or nerd-i-ness of the Klingon language, the legacy of the "Star Trek" will live as long as people can speak it.