Stupid Criminals and Other Shinanigans

• Paul Baldwin, 48, was ordered held on $10,000 bail in Portsmouth, N.H., in May after his arrest for stealing a can of beer, which seems expensive except that it was Baldwin's 152nd arrest. When a judge asked if he wanted a lawyer appointed for him, Baldwin said, "I don't need a lawyer. I've been in this court more than you have."

• A gentle armed robber was being sought in July in Poplar Bluff, Mo.; he took $25 from a man at gunpoint, but then hugged him before he left.

• Arrested in Tampa, Fla., in the span of 23 hours on July 1 and July 2: Mr. Telly Savalas Cheatam (grand theft auto) and Mr. Telly Savalas Wimbley (trespassing.)

• In July, St. Mary's Airport on the Isles of Scilly (off the coast of England) posted a vacancy announcement for air traffic controller that added, helpfully, that applications were available in alternative languages, "in larger text (or) Braille."
  
  
• Police were called to a home in Wichita, Kan., in June after two young men had been arguing over which was more deserving of the street name C-Thug. The fight ended when a woman old enough to be their mother came along and stabbed one of the "thugs."
  
  
• Illinois requires state employees to pass an annual 10-question, multiple-choice "ethics" test (whose format lends itself to simplistic answers that, for instance, most college students might handle easily). In January, ethics officials declined to accept the passing grades of 65 Southern Illinois University professors because they finished "too quickly." Asserted a reviewing state official, anyone who failed to spend at least 10 minutes on the test was being unreasonable.
  
  
• In August in Billings, Mont., federal officers recognized Wyoming fugitive Sterling Wolfname, 26, on the street, but the man tried to give a different name, seemingly oblivious that "Wolfname" was tattooed on the side of his head.